Determination

Girls have an extremely strong visual effect on the teenage guy, from wearing a certain type of skirt to having their hair style in a different way.  They can make a guy feel like they are the luckiest man in the world and yet other times they can make him feel the absolute worst.

After three months of being around this particular girl at school, I wanted to get to know her better.  I had these unbelievable feelings about her and could not describe them.  I was determined to steal her heart as she already had mine.  I remember the first time I saw her...it was like seeing the sunset shining off the ocean or looking at the stars at night from the highest mountain as if a dream had come true.

A few days had gone by and I conjured up the nerve to call to she how she was lately.  Her mother had told me that she was out with her boyfriend.  Listening to her mother say "her boyfriend" had given me the most heart-wrenching feeling I have ever had.  I have no idea why I felt like this yet, I thought it may be just jealousy and time would help it pass.  

At first I thought the relationship between the two of them would not last very long. I was at the point of tirelessly hoping it would not last but I was completely wrong. Everyday at school I watched them together.  Seeing them walk each other to class and touch lips to say their good-byes was unbearable.  Some days she gave me an awkward glance with a tremendously beautiful smile that made my heart melt.  

I thought to myself, "I should be walking her to class."  On inclement weather days I dreamed of offering her my jacket and cuddle as other couples do.   But no, it was his jacket around her and their soft whispering that I heard as he swept her away to her next class.  

Six months had passed and the heart pounding out-of-my-mind feeling that had crept into my being again. I decided to visit her brother with hopes of seeing her. With my throat dry and voice cracking I asked if her brother was home.  When she told me he was out and would be back soon I did not wait for an invitation but instead instinctively went inside to wait.  

While inside, my heart took over and the words just  flowed.  I told her of my emotions and her reaction appeared to be one of surprise. Baseball season was just around the corner and her presence at every game was a thrill for me.  I had her in my thoughts with every hit of the ball and every throw I made.  Unfortunately, her boyfriend was my teammate.  

Some days later at her birthday celebration, after most everyone had left she asked me to stay and talk.  We discussed the chance of getting to know each other better. We talked for hours about our feelings and how intense they had become.  At that moment, we embraced and her glistening lips met mine.

Since then, I have made several trips to assist her with her math assignments until one night we embraced like there was no tomorrow.  My heart pounding and my body tingling, I knew I made the right decision to listen to my heart. Realization set in a week later and as it hit me I knew what determination really meant.   I had chosen to follow through with my actions and express my sincerity.  Being truthful to her and to myself is something I will never regret.  

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