Finding Kristen

It really bothers me when people talk about how high school should be the time of your life.  It's a time to discover who you are and all of that nonsense.  The fact of the matter is, we've spent our entire lives trying to determine who we are.  We all have been attempting to find our own identity and fitting in at the same time.  It's a giant waste of time.  You don't learn it all in four years.

I still have the same friends as I did in Middle School.  I still am the same person. But I suppose that I'm different than most because I really don't care.

When you think of a teenage girl, you think she'd be into make-up, pop music, shopping, and talking on the phone.  I'm none of that. Half of the time, I'm too lazy to put on make-up in the morning and I really don't care for pop, rap, or country.  I like classical and jazz.  I enjoy a good acoustic.  I can't stand shopping and am an internet fiend.  I'm the anti-teenager, I guess.  But you know what? I'm okay with that.

I spent my entire freshman year trying to find "Kristen."  Who is she?  What is she like?  Who does she like?  What clique does she fit in?  It went on for 10 months until I simply gave up.  And now I see all of these little girls, all awkward and stressed over what they should be, and it's really sad.  

When I gave up, I found out who I really was.  I was just "Kristen." Nothing special. Nothing stand-offish.  I was just.. me. But I think that I need to reiterate how important this is.  You don't have to "find" yourself to know who you are.  How do you even find yourself in the first place?  I know I just sat around and sulked at how much I wished I was like someone else.  It wasn't fun.  I didn't enjoy it. But I do now.  I like who I am.  I think that others do too.  But, you know.. it doesn't really matter what they think.  It matters what I think.  Am I being fake?  Or am I being Kristen.  I won't say something just to appease someone.  It's just who I am.  And I think it's sort of nice.

Article provided by www.nextSTEPmag.com

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