Forever

I met him towards the end of January during my sophomore year in high school. I've had class with him since August, but for some reason he and I never talked. We were both in our own worlds, separated from each other. At least, that's how it was in the beginning.

I accidentally bumped into him one day during PE, and embarrassed by my clumsiness, I brightly said "Hi!" He said the same thing, but in a different tone. Little did I know that that day would be a day cherished forever. We slowly started talking but it took a while to get over our shyness, his especially. I've never known a guy to be as bashful as him and it caught my attraction.

Over the next few weeks, he and I got to know each other, educationally. He always helped me with Anatomy and we always ended up on the same basketball team. I didn't feel any emotions passing between us. But on February 20, 2002, we had a long conversation online. He asked me if I could go somewhere with him.

Inexperienced in being asked out, I thought he just wanted to hang out as friends. But to be sure, I asked him if he liked anyone. He was pretty honest about it and said "you". I felt myself blush but didn't let out any feelings that begun to stir in me. That next day changed my world and his. I found my first boyfriend, got my first kiss, found my first love, and also found a best friend.

He was one of the most understanding people I've ever met and extremely smart too. But he and I didn't have anything in common. I called him a sheep and myself a cow. I guess that's what really brought us together. My friend Chris once said, "Opposites attract."

I was with my boyfriend for a while. I learned that he was moving to San Antonio for college and I told him that I knew it'd be really hard. He didn't believe me at first but when the time came to say goodbye, our eyes were both dry from holding back tears. I remember it was raining on one of those days. We stood in the rain together and I clung to him, afraid to let go. I looked into his eyes and said, "The sky is crying for me." He understood what I meant and as I sat on the bus by a window, I watched him walk away slowly, sadness in his steps. I watched him take away a part of me that no one else will ever know.

He was my love, my Romeo, my heart and soul, my Bren. That summer, I went to Bangladesh and didn't talk to him for 2 ½ months. I started to wonder about us, and if we were meant to be. I didn't figure out till later on.

After I came back, he and I grew closer. Slowly time passed and he and I talked everyday, either online or on the phone. I felt myself falling in love and dreaming of a future together. He was too. We both somehow knew we were meant to be. We'd joke around being husband and wife. I mean, seriously, that's what it felt like. We couldn't sleep without saying "I love you" to each other and wishing goodnight. But then came the problem of cultural clashes.

We both had different religions and came from different ethnic backgrounds. I had no problem with that but the future did. Where I'm from, racial marriages aren't approved often. My religion said that women weren't allowed to marry guys from other religions. But I thought if he converted, I'd have a 50-50 chance of being with him. He wanted to before but I stopped him. I knew he wanted to convert for me. If I had allowed it, I'd be allowing him to live a lie.

For a few months, I thought he would convert. That's what it seemed like. I never really asked. But one day I asked him if he thought we'd have a future together. He sadly answered no. I felt tears in my eyes and said I understood. What was the point of forcing someone to do something that wasn't right? I knew we had to give each other up soon. That's how much we loved each other. We loved enough to give each other up.

That was then. 14 months and 2 days has passed since he and I first started talking. We have met a few times since he left for college. And we still love each other deeply but we both know what our future holds or doesn't hold. We're meant to be but won't be. I understand that, and I accept it.

Sometimes that's what love does. It makes us a stronger person, especially if we find the right person. I know he's the right one but I also know he won't be the one. He knows the same of me. When the time comes to let go, we will. But I won't forget him. He's my soul, my life, my everything. As its been said often "It takes forever to forget someone. "

Article provided by www.nextSTEPmag.com

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