Helping Others Become Stronger The summer after I received news of becoming captain, I thought I made a mistake applying for the position. I could sense my own fear. I screamed the words "Scared to Be in Charge" without uttering a sound. I was too much the friend and equal of my squad members to come down upon them with an air of higher authority. Truth was, I wasn't cut out to be a team leader. I had always been the person who worked behind the scenes; the one who got her work done well and occasionally inspired the next person to do the same. I was a leader, yes, but I had always been in charge of just one person - me. So when I was appointed captain of my high school's varsity cheer, I had to redefine my role. I was a child of three when I first sought to become my own boss. I remember my dad having to leave again, his departures no longer foreign. My parents were constantly away. They lived and worked on a separate island in the Philippines while I was cared for by my aunt. I held no resentment towards them because I knew they were laboring intensively to build a better life for all of us. Still, as my dad said his good-byes, I felt a sharp emptiness. Another three weeks before I'd see him again. Tears fogged my vision but I fought to hold them back. I was powerless in my two-and-a-half foot frame to change the course of my dad's footsteps. I did, however, have power over myself. So I withheld my tears. Growing up, I prized independence. I took on roles where I was my main contender. As commissioner of publicity, I was the one who determined when my own projects would be completed. While volunteering at the hospital, I chose what hours I wanted to work and what work I wanted to do. If I had headed a corporation then, I would be both Chief Executive and employee of my own company. Being used to working for myself would put me at a disadvantage for cheer. Cheer camp was especially brutal for me as a starting captain. As if it weren't difficult enough learning routines on my own, I was expected to teach ten other girls as well. My voice wavered as I gave uncertain commands. Stunts fell like heavy rain, formation lines went askew, and very few people knew what to do. I was in the midst of a tornado- chaos all around. My orders would come but the wind would prey on my words. Alas, no one could- or would- hear me. In a company that only has one member on staff, it's not difficult to associate a problem with its source. The event took me back to my childhood - I was three again with very little control over my surroundings. I wanted to find the security of self-sufficiency once more. But being independent would not be the solution - not when others depended on me. I was foolish to think that my squad could trust in my authority when I hardly trusted in myself. With this realization, I was closer now to becoming a leader of many instead of just one. The power that resides within a group leader was there for the taking. All I had to do was open my arms and embrace it. To be a source of confidence for my squad, I had to dismiss my feelings of uncertainty. I finally comprehended that there was something they needed more from me than just my friendship and understanding - they needed my guidance. And as I began to exercise my authority, I felt a growing desire- a need- to bring out the best in these ten girls. Taking the role of Cheer Captain, I had hoped to become stronger as an individual. But in the process, I've come to want more; to help others become stronger. View more articles | Information provided by collegeanduniversity.net |