Can you hear me now?

You really love him. She means the world to you. The two of you have been inseparable since the first day of high school. She bundled up every Friday night to watch you play football. He sat through three-hour dance recitals to see you on stage for five minutes.

You’re in love, but next year, you’re off to school three states away while the love of your life is driving an hour in the opposite direction to State U. How can you make it work? Or—gulp—will it work at all? If you decide to give long-distance love a shot, there’s an important realization you must make: It’s never going to be like it was in high school.

But change might not be a bad thing. You may be outgrowing the way things are right now and need a change of scenery. You may be looking to add a different dynamic to add to the relationship. Seven hundred miles—or any distance, for that matter—will do that.

But being apart is easier than ever. Instant Messenger, cell phones and discounted online plane tickets can make the distance seem small. You can stay together. It can work. I know, because I’m doing a long-distance relationship right now. I’m in my third year of school in Boston, while my girlfriend is a college student in Michigan.

We’re both very happy, but we’ll be the first ones to admit that it hasn’t always been easy. We’ve learned some important lessons this year, not the least of which being that long distance relationships can work—and work well, in fact—as long as they’re approached in the right way. Here’s what I’ve learned as the most important factors in making a long-distance relationship work.

1. You have to trust each other
Trust is the bedrock of any successful relationship, and it becomes even more important the further you are away from each other. In college, you’ll be in closer contact with members of the opposite sex than ever before. There’s a good chance that guys and girls will live closely in the dorms. You’ll each develop friendships with people of both sexes. You certainly should, too—that’s an important part of being socially healthy at college. At the same time, it’s hard to hear your girlfriend say, “Bye, I’m going to hang out with Bob and Tony upstairs.” However, if you really trust each other, your jealousy will pass.

2. Be thoughtful of your roommates
Even if you’re rooming with your best friend from high school, it will be an inconvenience when your boyfriend or girlfriend comes to visit. What happens if you two want to watch a movie alone, but your roommate needs to rest for a track meet in the morning? The rule here is to be considerate. Be sure to spend plenty of time away from the room so your roommate doesn’t feel suffocated. And always thank them for allowing your sweetie to visit.

3. Get involved instead of pining away
You should get involved on your campus even if you feel like you want to visit your boyfriend or girlfriend every weekend. Sure, you have to make some sacrifices to spend time together. But if one of you feels you’re missing the college experience, problems could arise. Moderation is the key. Be sure to spend quality time with your boyfriend or girlfriend, but also remember that college is about meeting people from various walks of life.

4. Be understanding People change
You are supposed to change at college. Sometimes, learning about the world in different ways and making new friends makes people look at their relationships differently. If you feel you’re drifting away from your high school honey, you owe it to yourself to be open and honest about it. Talking things through might help you realize how the relationship could evolve to mirror those changes.

5. Pay attention to the little things
Just because you won’t see each other every day doesn’t mean your relationship will lose its luster. Remember the little things. There’s nothing better than finding a sweet card in your mailbox. And there’s nothing wrong with celebrating monthly anniversaries. Anything—no matter how small—that makes the two of you smile will make the distance between you seem less imposing.

Jon Paul Morosi is a student at Harvard University.

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