Ask Matt

Can’t stand candy-coated advice? Matt Hammond is here to help! He’ll give you the real deal when it comes to college, careers and life. E-mail your questions to [email protected]

Q: I’m worried that I will really miss my family when I go away to school. Am I the only person who feels like this?
A: Missing parents and family is a common feeling for many who are leaving their hometowns. But homesickness is really quite easy to get over. You just need to become busy. Immerse yourself in your studies and meet new people. Join some clubs and groups that interest you. Whatever you do, just don’t sit around your room and mope. Getting out, trying new things and eventually having fun are the easiest ways to get over missing your loved ones. You will see your family again. So have some fun until the next time you get together so you have interesting college stories to share.

Q: I’m an average student who’s going to be attending a large state school. Does it matter that I’m probably not going to graduate at the top of my college class?
A: Most people worry about just graduating from college, not where they’re going to fall in the final lineup. Worry about doing the best that you can, not about how well everyone else is doing. Being the top graduate does bestow some nice perks, such as being able to write on your resume that were the top graduate. But who really cares about your college GPA after you secure a job? Not many. Think about it—are you going to start friendships by comparing your class ranks? Only one person can be the top dog in any graduating class, so don’t worry about it. Just work on getting that diploma and lining up a job after graduation.

Q: I’m having trouble figuring out what major I want to declare. Everyone is telling me I should make up my mind now, before I get to college. Do I really have to decide right this minute?
A: Declaring your major can be one of the most important decisions of your academic career. I would take time to thoroughly consider your options. Do not choose a major just to choose one. If you haven’t decided, you can always defer to an undeclared status, which means that you’ll take some generic courses that you need for any major. But do not wait too long. Taking years to decide your major will ultimately push back your graduation date. Take a deep breath and know that you do not need to know what you are going to major in right now. But work toward figuring it out (take some classes in areas that interest you to see what fits), and plan to declare by at least the first semester of your sophomore year.

Q: What if I hate my college roommate?
A: Roommates are an interesting issue, because they’re not only a kind of relationship, but there is also money involved. (Money makes things complicated.) If you live in a dorm or other kind of college-run housing, you may be able to move away from your roommate without penalty. But you also may not. It depends on the grounds of your so-called hatred. If you can plead a medical condition, such as, “This person smokes, and I’m allergic to cigarettes,” then you’ll soon be packing up your stuff and moving somewhere else. But if it’s a petty issue, such as, “I don’t like Jessica Simpson posters on the wall,” then you may have problems switching. You could always try communicating your issues to your roommate and resolving them together. Ask your RA for help. If you live in an apartment with a lease, well then, you’ve got an entirely different beast to slay. Good luck trying to get your roommate to move out or for you to get out of paying your half of the rent. You may just be better off sucking it up, living with the annoying roommate and chalking the whole thing up to a learning experience. 

Side note: Best friends don’t always make the best roommates. Do you really want to find out how messy your high school buddies are?

Q: What was the biggest surprise you found at college?
A: The immense amount of freedom you’ll have. If you so choose, you can go credit-card crazy and fill out dozens of credit card applications. (Resist that urge!) You can plan your schedule so that you don’t have to go to class until the afternoon. Rarely do professors take attendance, so there is no calling in sick or doctor’s notes to get. You have the freedom to stay up late and do homework until 2 a.m. You have the freedom to choose to do what you want with your life after high school. Be careful; many students fare poorly because of procrastination and frequent absences. Be your own motivator, and try to make good choices while having some fun.

Q: How often do college students go home?
A: It really depends on how far away they are from home and what their relation-ships are like there. My freshman year roommate went home nearly every weekend to help his parents on the family farm during the planting and harvesting seasons. (Mid-Missouri residents consider this normal.) I rarely went home throughout college, except for holidays and family birthdays. I had my life at college, and I had my high school life back home two hours away. It was never easy for me to transition from one to the other.

Students get homesick for many reasons: a girlfriend back home, missing the family poodle, whatever. Others like myself figured it was just more fun to live a college lifestyle. I find that students make fewer visits home as time progresses. A balance of visiting and calling home is nice—your parents will appreciate it, and so will you in the long run. Never forget where you came from, but also never forget where you want to go.

Q: How much stuff from home should I bring to college my freshman year?
A: The first semester of freshman year in college is a time of change for many students. Gone are the days of high school and your childhood bedroom. You will most likely have a roommate or suitemates. You will be surprised at how fast your living space will fill up with clutter in college. Have you ever wanted to be the proud owner of a lava lamp or Chia Pet? Now you can be. Leave most of your sentimental stuff at home. It will be nice to return to your high school stuff when you come home for a break. I’ve discovered that I have distinctly different stuff from different times in my life. I have a box from when I was in high school and a couple of boxes of stuff from my college years. Leave most of your stuff home.

Q: I’ve heard that in college, you have to write a lot of papers. I’m a terrible writer. Am I doomed?
A: Writing papers in college is similar to nap time in preschool: Nobody wants to do it, but you must. I am having a hard time coming up with an example of a college that doesn’t require you to complete papers as part of the curriculum. “Writing a lot of papers” seems to accurately describe my college experience. A college paper is an excellent way for professors and instructors to gauge how well students have understood the course information. If writing papers is not your strength, fear not—there are plenty of resources available to help you succeed. Communicate with your professors about your situation. If you have a diagnosed condition, such as dyslexia, your method of getting help will be different than if you don’t. Most colleges and universities have some kind of writing resource center; you are not the first person who has had trouble. Talking to your professors about your paper-writing issues should put you in the right direction for success. Tools such as word processing programs, spell checkers and writing style guides should also help. All of these resources will be at your fingertips at most colleges. 

Q: I’ve heard that there is a lot of drinking at college. Is that true?
A: The short answer is that it’s up to you. If you want to drink a lot in college, then yes, you will find a way to drink a lot in college. If you are absolutely abhorred at the thought of imbibing any amount of alcohol, then you can find a way to avoid alcohol and befriend other people who avoid it, too. Some schools allow alcohol on campus, others are “dry,” meaning there is an alcohol ban on campus. Remember that if you do drink, you’ll be breaking the law. The legal drinking age in the United States is 21. No matter where you drink, on or off campus, the punishments for underage drinkers are strict. Do not break the law. And when you become of age, do not let drinking get in the way of your academic success. Drinking can be a large aspect of college culture; don’t let it be the only aspect of yours.

Q: My parents say I need to have a job in college. I feel that I shouldn’t because it will be too much for me to balance. Can I do school and work?
A: Having a part-time job in college is sometimes the only way for some people to afford school. Time management is a skill that you have to practice to be successful in college. Some part-time jobs allow you to do homework on the job. Others jobs may pertain to your major, helping you in the long run as well as giving you a way to earn some cash. Unless you select a job that is totally unworkable with your course load, you should be able to do both. Life is full of times where you have to divide your energy into more than one task. College is another lesson in preparing yourself for life’s more trying times. Budget your time wisely; you’ll have good grades and some well-earned cash.

Q: What if I’m put on academic probation at college? What does that mean?
A: Academic probation is the education system’s way of keeping your academic efforts out of the proverbial gutter before it’s too late. Academic probation is a status given to a student whose GPA falls below a certain standard. That standard varies from school to school. It may be contingent on your overall GPA or on a semester-by-semester basis. Long story short, you need to get some help. Tutoring, more study time and better class attendance are sure-fire ways to alleviate the academic probation woes. Be aware that some schools have strict punishments if you stay on academic probation for too long. So keep your grades up!

Q: What if I get sick at college and I’m three hours away from my hometown doctor?
A: Fear not, my sick one! Most colleges have some form of on-campus health clinic, a hospital nearby or both! If you want a regular doctor instead of the health center regulars, contact your health insurance provider and ask for a local recommendation. Before you see the doc, make sure you know how much your co-pay will be. A co-pay is the amount you need to pay when you go to the doctor. It’s usually in the $20 ballpark. Your insurance company, if you follow the terms of your insurance correctly, will pick up the rest of the bill.

Q: I blew all the money I’ve made over the summer on my senior trip, and now I’m wondering if I’ll have enough to spend at college. Will I have time to work while at school?
A: I’m sure you will have enough time to do other things than just study for your college classes. Rarely does studying consume every single minute of your day. You have to make time for yourself. (You have to sleep sometime!) The real question is: Can you work a part-time job and still do well in college? The answer is, it depends. Figure out how much time you need for studying and making the grades you want. That should be your first criteria in determining how much you can devote to a part-time job. The less time you find you need for studying, the more likely you will be able to balance a job and school. It all comes down to time management. Keep in mind that it’s better to be poor for four years and get good grades than to be not-so-poor with average or below-average grades. You don’t want to struggle to find a “real job” after college because your college grades were sub-par. College should be your number-one priority. Your part-time job for a disposable income should never jeopardize your education.

Q: What if I don’t know what I want to do for a career yet?
A: You are already well ahead of the rest of us! I recently heard a humorous but true saying: “Long-range career planning is about five years.” Meaning don’t worry right now. You are just beginning to plan your post-high school experience. Make a list of things that you want to do in life. Make some goals, and be as unreasonable as you want. Then get up, get a cookie or something, watch a little TV or go for a run. Come back to your list later and think about what you would have to do to pursue those goals. Figure out if the schools you are considering have majors in any of the areas you’ll have to study. Remember that you are not tied to doing just one thing for the rest of your life. As a freshman, take the general education requirements at your school, such as English, history and entry-level science courses that are basic graduation requirements for most accredited schools of higher education. You’ll need those basic courses to graduate, no matter your major.

Q: I’ve dated my girlfriend since we were sophomores in high school. Two years later, we’re still together. Should we apply to the same colleges? I really think she’s “the one”… –Zack
A: A two-month relationship is an impressive amount of time when you’re in high school. A two-year relationship is tantamount to a millennium. The contributing factor to the short dating cycles in your late high school and early college years is this: The quantity of changes that occur from just getting older are, simply put, staggering. The chances that the two of you will “make it” or be “the one” for each other can be slim to none. At age 17, you have no idea what your significant other will be like when they are 21 or 40, for that matter. Choosing where to go after high school graduation is, most likely, the biggest, most important decision of your life thus far. Going six states away from home to follow your girlfriend’s dream is an unwise decision. Go your own way. If your relationship is strong enough to span the ages of 15 to 21, then choosing a different location to start post-high school life will not wreck your relationship.

Q: I’m scared about losing touch with my high school friends. I’m going to school hours away from where most of them will be. How can I keep their friendships? –Sandra
A: The result of moving away is most likely a guarantee that you will lose touch with your high school friends. But, freshman year of college is all about meeting new people and fostering new relationships. Let meeting new people happen. Let’s face it, if you are not meeting new people and getting out there, you’re going to be boring and lame, staying the same while all your high school friends are meeting new friends and getting on with life. But don’t despair. Unless your high school friends’ parents move, you’ll still have them to bum around with on breaks back home.

Q: I can hardly stand to eat in a cafeteria—let alone eat cafeteria food. How can I eat healthfully on a meal plan? –Tiffany
A: I’ve never really heard the words “healthy” and “meal plan” in the same sentence. “Different” is the word I’ve often heard associated with meal plan food. Meal plan food historically has never really been that healthy. Improvements are being made, though. Most cafeterias provide alternate menus for vegetarians or people with other dietary restrictions. But, there are salad bars, baked potato bars, stir fries and lean meats often available , too. if cafeteria food really bothers you, buy some Rolaids, hummus and bean sprouts on your own. Enjoy the college food experience, and accumulate stories to tell your friends when you’re old and spend time reminiscing about the wild days of college life.

Q: Should I bring my car to college?
A: Most freshmen do not have cars. Reason: Parking permits are issued on a priority basis with faculty and staff, graduate and other upper-level students getting first pick. Basically, as a freshman, you are at the bottom of all those lists. You register for classes last, you are the last to get a parking permit, and so on. Also, any parking that you could get would most likely be in the worst lot, very, very, very far away from any place convenient. So my answer is no, don't bring a car. That is, unless you have to travel regularly for your major, such as to report on stories for a journalism class. If you’d just be bringing your car with you on a whim, “don't” bother. Make friends with someone foolhardy enough to bring a car, then let them deal with all of the hassles and parking tickets while you just ride along, humming to yourself about how smart you were to leave your car at home for your brother to take care of while you’re away.

Q: I’m used to staying out until whenever I want while at college. How am I going to deal with my parents and their rules when I go back home for the summer?
A: This is a common problem. Talk with your parents as soon as you arrive home—don’t wait until after your first conflict involving their curfew or rules. You will be taken more seriously and regarded as an adult if you address the issues as soon as you can. If nothing can be worked out with your folks, how about working at a summer camp, taking summer classes at your school or studying abroad? If you’ve got a summer to play with, you might as well do something fun, like teach kids how to water ski, go hiking in the Swiss Alps, or take a modern-film class at school in the summer. 

Can’t stand candy-coated advice? Matt Hammond is here to help! He’ll give you the real deal when it comes to college, careers and life. E-mail your questions to [email protected]

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