Getting what you want

A lot of people have probably talked to you about setting goals. Now, maybe you’ve ignored all that advice because reaching goals always seems to involve a lot of hard work. Well sit back and listen up, because you really do need goals.

Setting goals is simply defining what you want. That’s not so hard, is it? Knowing what your goals are makes it easier to make choices that will help you reach them.A practical goal is a concrete thing that can be measured. If you say, “I want to be in charge of my own life,” that’s a hard thing to measure. But if you say, “I want to live in my own apartment in six months and pay my own rent,” that’s something that you can look at in six months and say you accomplished it or you didn’t.

How to set goals
I’m a big believer in both goals and dreams, but I don’t necessarily think they’re the same thing. I might dream of living on a Caribbean island and teaching windsurfing all day. But is that my goal? No. I know it’s not because I’ve never tried to pursue it, I can think of all sorts of reasons I really don’t want to do it, and I don’t even know how to windsurf. I just like to fantasize about that life sometimes when I’m tired and it’s snowy.

If living on a Caribbean island and teaching windsurfing all day really was my goal, I’d be actively working toward it, trying to make it a reality. That’s what I do with goals.

First, I make sure my big goal is something I really want to do, stated in a positive way. In other words, don’t say, “I don’t want to live with my parents.” Instead, state it positively: “I want to live on my own as a responsible adult.”

Next, I break my goal into concrete mini-goals. If I were trying to make that Caribbean dream come true, my mini-goals might include: learn to windsurf; research Caribbean islands; find out how expensive it is to live in the Caribbean; and research owning a small business in the Caribbean.

Even within each mini-goal, I might break it into small steps. Learn to windsurf might get broken down

into: check the Yellow Pages; call county park system; call windsurfing equipment stores to find out about lessons; save $25 a week for lessons.

By breaking down a big goal into mini-goals and then by breaking those mini-goals down into steps, I keep from being overwhelmed. Can I move to the Caribbean tomorrow and teach windsurfing? No. But if I really want to, I now know some of the steps to follow to make that goal a reality.

Make sure those mini-goals and steps are concrete and measurable. Then you’ll have a real sense of accomplishment when meeting those goals. If your goal is to improve your social life, that’s fine. But when you set mini-goals, be more specific. Maybe mini-goals that would make you happier with your social life include: I will get together with friends one night per week; I will go out on one date per month; and within two months, I will join a group or class to meet people my age with similar interests. Each one of those mini-goals is measurable. You will know when you’ve accomplished it.

I also like to set deadlines. A long-term goal of, say, owning a car, might have a deadline two years away. A shorter-term deadline, like improving your social life, might be only two months away. If you know when you’d like to accomplish your overall goal, it helps to set deadlines for your mini-goals, too. Just work backward. If you want to buy a car in two years, then maybe you have mini-goals of taking a driver’s ed course to lower your insurance, research the best cars in your price range, create a budget and get a job right now.

Don’t let anybody tell you that you can’t accomplish things just because you’re a teenager. Instead, think about what you want most for your life and then set goals so that you can accomplish it!  

Laura Purdie Salas is a writer living in Minnesota. She moved out of her parents’ house at the age of 16. Her book is Taking the Plunge: A Teen’s Guide to Independence.

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