Patience With Parents

In my 20 years as an admissions professional, I’ve become more patient with the parents in the process. I expect much of this has to do with the fact that my oldest daughter is a junior in high school, and I will soon become one of those parents.

I have turned that anger at the parent who opens the decision letter before the student into a greater understanding of the action. I now have a better understanding of the parents’ need to protect their children from disappointment as they have gotten so used to doing for the past 17 years.

So when does that need for shielding the student from disappointment end? When does it become the responsibility of the student to accept and deal with that rejection? College counseling professionals struggle with these questions every day. Every encounter we have with a family is an opportunity to educate them toward greater independence for the students. This independence will only provide the student with the skills necessary to cope with issues that arise when they arrive on a college campus. After all, they do come to our campus without their parents.

I take every opportunity possible to educate the parents as well as the students—even the parent who opens the letter of rejection and asks how they can get it changed before their son or daughter gets home from school.

As one of those parents, I’ve learned these are acts of love that are done without realizing the harm being done to the student.

Let’s keep working together through this complex journey of college admissions!

Peggy Richmond is director of admissions for Keene State College in Keene, N.H

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