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Being Hmong
"Are you Chinese?"
"No," I replied.
"Then what are you?"
"I'm Hmong."
From the mountaintops of Laos, in the small huts and villages built by the hands of the people, working on farms and herding animals, that is Hmong. We speak a different language, act a different way, and have a different lifestyle. We escaped from the Vietnam War and thought that we would have freedom in the United States. My family is Hmong, but I am an American and I had to choose, for myself, which kind of a lifestyle I wanted for my future.
I was born in Kansas City, Kansas in June of 1986. Growing up is different for everyone, but for me, it was really different. Much of it had something to do with the combined traditions of eating habits, speaking, education, and friends. It was two different cultures embodied in me. I had to choose. Was I going to accept who I was, past and present and go on, or make a new future, with none of my old culture involved?
In the Hmong culture, girls were raised learning how to cook and clean for their families starting at the age of 12 and sometimes even younger. They had to learn how to cook breakfast, lunch, and dinner, clean the house, do laundry, and take care of younger siblings or sometimes older siblings. They had to learn how to take orders from their elders and help out whenever it was needed. Also, with living in the United States, they are expected to maintain good grades, get a job to help out with the family, and graduate from high school and go on to college. Children are also expected to know how to read, write, and speak in Hmong fluently, along with the American language. Most Hmong families are fairly large and are not spoiled with tons of gifts and presents. Hmong girls do not usually get their driver's license until the age of 18 and are usually at home, taking care of everything. Boys, on the other hand, have it a little easier, but they still have a lot of responsibility in their families. Parents count on their children to take care of them when they grow old, so a lot of married couples usually still live with the husband's parents until they grow old themselves.
All of this can be very stressful to a lot of Hmong teenagers that are growing up today. Ridicule and stress often cause these Hmong teenagers who cannot cope with all of this to take their own lives. An American lifestyle would seem like a simple way out of this. Typically, a lot of American girls, still have no idea how to cook or clean, except make a simple dish of Mac and Cheese. This does not portray every American family out there in the United States, but are often common among most families. These families order out as much as possible and get their maids or mothers to help with cleaning and their laundry. These teenagers are spoiled with cars, cell phones and toys, and do not often have as much responsibility for their families. A couple of things are required and these things are not that hard to obtain. All they usually have to do is graduate from high school and get an education at a college, and sometimes this is a little hard to achieve.
I had to choose. Was it going to be all of the frustration and stress of me being Hmong, or the simple way out, where I could forget about a lot of responsibility and be free? I really don't remember the point where I said, "This is it. This is who I am," but I know now what I chose. When I was younger, I would have chosen an American lifestyle and just forget about my heritage and responsibility, but now I am proud to say that I am Hmong. There are some things that are really great about being Hmong, most of all, it's that I can speak a different language and no one would ever know I was talking about them. I am happy that my parents have taught me how to cook, clean, and raise a family. It's really great understanding and still learning about where I come from, so now I choose to be Hmong and am content with everything I am today.
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