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A Brighter Future
I thought I had a tough life. I thought that no one cared, and I couldn't trust anyone. Well, I haven't felt this way my entire life. I am a sophomore and lost my best friend in 7th grade. She had been my best friend for years, but suddenly she changed, and left me completely to hang out with other people. Unfortunately, I had grown too close to her; I didn't have very many other friends.
For the next few summers, my life was depressing. I wasn't old enough to get a summer job, and I had no other friends to hang out with. My older sister and parents were worried about me. I never went anywhere, and I would just sit home on the computer creating web pages. Even though the beach was right down the street, I got too involved in my web pages that I began to enjoy being home alone and hated being around other people. I became, during that summer, a loner. My web pages became my escape. I felt as if I could be myself through them. I didn't feel that I was being myself in school and around the people I have known since I was very young. I thought that I was only judged fairly online when no one could see me or know my background. I purchased my own domain and completely wrapped myself in it. I'd write constantly and repeatedly change the layout until it was perfect. I became obsessive.
My 8th grade year came and passed too quickly. Looking back, watching the video of my graduation, I would give anything to be back there now. I watched as all my friends got older in 8th grade, but I didn't budge. I still remained a little girl in my heart and mind. This all connects back to losing my best friend because I couldn't trust anyone again. After she finally stopped calling me and we never hung out again, I was hurt deeper than I ever knew. I didn’t call other people to go to the beach, boardwalk, etc. and I was upset when they didn’t call me. My outgoing self from 7th grade slowly transformed into the shy person I am now.
Suddenly, high school was upon me. Finally a chance to meet new people that wouldn’t know my history and wouldn’t see that I had become a loner. I decided to be myself, but as soon as I got to high school, I discovered it wasn’t as easy I thought it was. Most people that I went to grade school with came to my high school. Yes, I met new people, but I couldn’t just be myself with those from my grade school who felt they were superior watching over me. I specifically remember on the first day of school, I didn’t sit with my old friends at lunch. I sat with new people.
When I got home that day, I went on the computer and received this message from a “friend.” “Why didn’t you sit with Jenn, Joanna and them? Are you some kind of loser?” In response to that I would have loved to say, “No, I just don’t want to be associated with that clique. Sorry that I want to make new friends.” Of course I didn’t. That wasn’t the me they knew. I simply replied, “Sorry.” It finally hit me that people thought of me as a loser when someone I thought of as a friend in high school said to me, “Did you have any friends in grade school? Like, were you a loser?” I knew immediately those girls from grade school must have told her, and my high school career was ruined. I would spend the rest of the 4 years there as a fake Janine. Of course, the fact that I had the highest GPA in my class didn’t help either. What else was I to do though? I never went out anyway. I involved myself in tennis, cheerleading, dance, and piano. None helped and I have finally given up. I am just waiting for college to come. I will know no one, and I will finally be able to be myself. I can finally grow up.
My advice to you: Never depend on just one friend. If you ever lose them, to other people or even to a tragic event of death, it may ruin YOUR life too. I am not saying don’t have a best friend. From my experience, I say expand your friend circle and try to include everyone, even that girl you think is a loner. She may just be faking because she has to. That’s what everyone thinks she is.
Take the first step, and try to get to know her. It will make a world of a difference to her. I have not met that person who went the extra mile to get to know me yet, but that may be just my fault. Anytime I feel myself getting close to someone, for some reason, I pull away. I am now concentrating on my future. I do my very best in school and constantly try to help myself get into the best college I can. So I thought I had a tough life. I was wrong. Sure, my life isn’t always the best, but there are always people who are worse off than me.
That is why I now sponsor an unfortunate child from the Dominican Republic. Through him I am myself. I realize that he may never have everything I have and that just not being very popular isn’t that important. I sponsor him so that he may have a brighter future. I hope God blesses me with a brighter future also. Article provided by 
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