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A Day in the Life of Myself

Where are you? You've gotten lost in a whirlwind of decisions to make. Is there really a reason for it? Throughout life, you start with decisions being made for you.

As you get a little older, you are given more and more freedom to choose your own paths. But what happens when you wake up one morning and realize that all the decisions you've made and are about to make are all masking where your true self truly lies?

It's 6:00 am. That alarm of yours is blaring. Time to start your day! Though you roll over in bed and look out the window. The world is waiting for you. Yet in a strange way, you're not waiting for it.

You're not sure why but something is pulling you back from getting out of bed and facing the world today. Facing the life you have created for yourself.

It's 8:00 am. You're stuck in traffic on the way to tackle your day. You think to yourself about the choice you made to get on the highway. The radio seems to come to life as a song sends you off in to a dream world where the only things that make sense, are the words the song is projecting.

It just seems so perfect. You can see yourself in it. The horn of an annoyed driver blares and you are blasted back to reality. It's 10:00 am. More people than you really wanted have already confronted you.

You sit at your desk and wonder: what am I doing here? You look across the room and realize that someone over there is staring out into space, and seems to wondering the very same thing.

Is it really just you? It's 12:00 pm. You pick up your lunch and stare at it. Is this really what I want? You look over a report that you must memorize for an after lunch event while you deposit the tasteless food into your mouth.

It's 2:00 pm. The day is already more than half over. You look outside and realize that the clouds seem to form the top half of a question mark. You can't help but think about it.

It's 4:00 pm. All the work is put away and is saved to finish tomorrow morning. What if the morning never comes? And if it does, I'll just have to do the same things.

It's 6:00 pm. Your mother has spoken to you after dinner. She's proud of you for the way things are going in your life. But couldn't you strive to be placed at the next platform above?

It's 8:00pm. A movie might be good. Something that will just relax you and not make you wonder. You can watch others wonder.

It's 10:00pm. Movie is over. You did everything but relax. You can't help but wonder what would happen if you were that person in the movie. They seem to have their lives all figured out. They lived their dreams.

It's 12:00am. You're still awake. You're lying in bed with the music playing in the background. The words in the song are no longer comforting. They just seem to be jumbled up, projecting a life you can never lead.

Maybe a walk to the deck outside might help. A little fresh air will do some good. You open the door and are practically thrown on the floor by the force of the wind. You look up at the sky and realize it has changed.

You stare in to the endless abyss and wonder if there is another world out there for you. And in one instance, one simple thought, you have realized what is truly happening. All your life you've been lying to yourself, lying to others, just to please others.

Your dreams were left behind, so you could strive to be someone other than yourself. The new things just deceived you, disguised as something better than what you once thought was good. But you think to yourself, what are my true dreams? Who do I truly want to be?

You may not realize it now, or even 10 years from now but it lies inside you. It's something that no one can take away from you. You are your own person. It may seem that the easy thing to do is follow what others do.

But in the end, everyone is just following each other. And they don't even realize they're doing it until they're hit with a force behind their control. Something that they never realized was inside of them.

It's who they really are. When the mask is taken off it reveals someone they want to get to know. Someone who is what they've always strived to be, but just didn't quite accept it. It would be a risk to veer off the path that everyone follows.

But the only way to continue to live is to follow your own life path. To accept who your truly are. Eventually you will find the end of the road, where your unmasked self sits, waiting for you to take over.

To stand up for you and only for you. And realize that it's okay to be yourself because that's the easy part. It's finding yourself that's the hard part.

It's 12:01 am. You dream the impossible dream.

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