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A Gift for Myself

Someone asked me today, "If you could give yourself any gift, what whould it be?" I stammered out a quick responce about a new car or a million dollars, just to get them to leave me alone. But later, after they were gone, I started thinking.

What would I give myself? I don't want something typical, like money or a lifetime supply of candy. I want solitude. To be alone. I need solitude. I wouldn't have to worry about anyone else's standards. Not having to worry about what people say. I would be able to spend my time on things worth spending time on. I could write whenever I wanted. Not have to worry about somone looking over my shoulder. I could read whenever I wanted. I wouldn't have to worry about my teachers telling my to put the book away and get back to my studies. I could do whatever I wanted. I wouldn't go out and do stupid things. I don't smoke or drink like most of the kids my age. I am a half-way decent person. I get good grades, I stay out of trouble. I'm even in a marial arts class. It's pretty cool. Keeps me out of harms way and teaches me disipline. I like it.

My dad said if I put half as much effort into making friends as I did reading and writing and practicing my martial arts I could be the most popular girl at school. I told him he was insane. I have friends, really, I do. I just don't have cool friends. We'd rather hang out and listen to music than go to the mall. That's what we usually do, but I would still rather be alone.

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