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A Lestat-sized Grin

I lay in the hospital bed and stared out the window at the rain pouring down. This marked my 6th day in the hospital. I was so sick of it. I was constantly mad at everyone and everything.

 "Can I go home TODAY, please?"

 I asked the nurse pleadingly. The nurse replied with her usually, daily response,

 "no..sorry. It'll be another day or 2. The doctor wants to keep an eye on your back, your our other vital signs. You know how it is."

I sighed, "yeah, yeah, I know. Can you at least take me off the IV?"

 I asked her a little desperately. She looked over her clip bored, looked up at my sadly and said, "no, not yet, you're not drinking enough fluids."

 "Okay, fine I'll drink some juice,"

 I said as I rolled my eyes. She poured me some juice from a pitcher and handed me the cup. "Okay, here is some orange juice."

 I slowly sat up and took a sip. It had pulp.I hate pulp. I set the cup down, disgusted. "Okay, can I have some pizza?"

I asked hopefully, knowing full well what the answer would be. "I don't think so, your stomach isn't ready for heavy solids yet, here are some crackers instead,"

she said with a sympathetic look. Okay fine, fine I thought. I wasn't that hungry anyway. Even though I'd hardly eaten anything since I'd had the surgery. I could feel my rib cage and my hipbones sticking out. I probably looked as  disgusting as I felt. I'd probably already lost at least 15lbs, which is pretty bad considering I was already tiny before the surgery.

 The nurse finally left the room, but not before making sure the other  2 patients in the room didn't need anything. Amber, just ignored her. She never spoke to anyone.ever. And of course Ruby just slept. I don't think I had ever seen her awake, not once.

 I lay back down on my side. I tried not to think about the pain in my back. I held my hand up and extended my index finger. It was the finger that had that band-aid thing wrapped around it that was connected to a machine that measured the amount of oxygen in my blood. Of course  that is just gibberish to me and the rest of the non medical world. I just refereed to it has my, "ET Phone Home" finger.

 My friend Kara came rushing back in with her snacks. It was her turn to stay with me and keep my company.

 "Hey Phoenix. Sorry I took so long the line up in the café was really long. So, what did the nurse say? Can you go home today,"

 she said as she plunked herself down in the card, cold, plastic chair next to the bed. I sighed and sat up slowly, wincing as I felt a slight twinge of pain,

"she said not today,"

I rolled my eyes,

"Again." "Oh, Nixie! I'm so sorry,"

 she said with the most sickening, I "feel so sorry for you" tone and look to her face. She looked at me like the world was going to end. Uck, I was sick of this. The sorry looks from my friends and family. All they ever did now was give me pitying looks. It was very degrading and demoralizing.

 I sighed,

 "Whatever. At this rate I'll be in the hospital till I graduate."

 "No...um..no..well, ah, I..I just realized I didn't ask you if you wanted anything from the cafeteria. You, ah, want anything?"

she replied nervously biting her lip. I really just wanted to be alone some more, so I just pretended to want something.

 "Yeah, sure how about a Pepsi?"

 I asked with fake excitement. (I wasn't suppose to drink soft drinks yet, but I really didn't care that I would be breaking the rules). I've never seen Kara bolt out of a room so fast. She has been doing that a lot lately. Seeing me like that made her nervous. She gave me these weird looks...looks that said, "aw, your lost and little and need lots of protection because you can't do that for yourself when your in this sort of state."

She has no idea what I was going through though and it really made me really mad to think she wasn't even trying!

 "Hey!!!"

 I was startled out of my down world spiral into

"whoa is me".

 I glanced up to see who had so "rudely" awaken me from my wallowing. There, on the edge of my bed, was a boy in blue PJs and wearing a white bandana wrapped around his head. He had the biggest, silliest grin on his face.

"Um, hi?"

I asked uncertainly. The boy replied proudly, "I'm Lestat!"

 "I'm Phoenix"

I said, "Lestat?

That's a pretty unusual name.

" "Yeah I know. My mom had a weird obsession with Anne Rice's Vampire Chronicles,"

 he said with a bit of a chuckle, "so, what were you in for?"

 he asked questionably. "I have scoliosis,"

 I responded with my usual answer to that question His blank look signalled that, like most people, I'd have to speak in the non medical lingo. "That is curvature of the spine. So I now have a rod in my back to help it grow straighter,"

I said it with a hint of bitterness in my tone, "and what about you? What brings you to this "fabulous" place of fun, fun, fun?"

 I said sarcastically. Without bitterness or a blink of an eye, he said, "I have Leukemia. Well, we thought it was all gone, but I had a relapse and now I'm back in for chemo again."

I stared at him shocked. I'd never met anyone with cancer before. And he seemed so happy. I just didn't get it. I quickly closed my gapping jaw.

 "So, where is your family? Shouldn't they be with you during this time?"

 I asked uncertainly. "Well it's only me and my Dad. My mom died about 7 years ago and my dad has to work till 9pm every night. So, it's just me till he gets here," he replied matter of factly. "Don't you get lonely?"

I asked curiously. "Nah, it's impossible to get lonely or bored here. There's always someone to talk to or something to do," he said shrugging, "you're lucky though. I see you have a friend or a family member with you practically 24/7,"

 he pointed out. I nibbled on my lip, twirled my hair and sifted uncomfortably. I suddenly I felt very guilty. I realized then how lucky I really was. My family did love and care about me and I was very fortunate to have them with me while I was going through this huge rigmarole. I shifted my gaze down,

 "yeah, I guess I'm lucky to have so many people around,"

 I said quietly. "Yeah, you are,"

 he said slowly grinning. He then moved closer to me shyly. He put his hand loosely, but warmly over mine and held it. "Come on. Give me a smile,"

 he said affectionately With his other hand he tilted my chin up. I shifted my gaze up slowly and a smile slowly broke out onto my face. We stared at each other for a moment. I didn't want to brake the moment, but finally I asked,

"so, what sort of stuff are you into?"

 His face lit up, "I love acting,

" he replied. "Really? Me too!"

I said excitedly. "What, should I hurt her, strike her, kill her dead? Although I hate her, I'll not harm her so,"

 he said dramatically. I recognized it immediately. It was from my favourite Shakespeare play, "A Midsummer's Night Dream".

 I replied just as dramatically, "What, can you do me greater harm than hate? Hate me! wherefore? O me! what news, my love! Am not I Hermia? are not you Lysander? I am as fair now as I was erewhile. Since night you loved me; yet since night you left me: Why, then you left me--O, the gods forbid!-- In earnest, shall I say?"

 Lestat laughed and said almost with a hit of boastnyness, "I was Lysander in "A Midsummer's Night Dream" this past winter at my school. In fact I have had fairly big parts in all the my school's productions."

"Wow! That's cool," I said with awe, "I only just started, so I'm not that great yet,"

 I continued casually. "Oh, I'm sure your prefect,"

he said coyly with a wink. He gave my hand a small squeeze. I blushed and giggled. Was it just me, or were we.flirting?! One thing was for sure, Lestat was the first person to make me smile and laugh in days and that and that meant something to me. That meant a lot. He leaned towards me and whispered, "you want hear a secret?"

 "Yeah," I replied leaning my ear towards him. "I think the hospital food is ALIVE. Literally. I swear I saw my eggs dance with bacon once. And another time my tomato blush, because he saw the salad dressing,"

 he said, his grin only getting bigger. He looked triumphant with his discovery. I stared at him in amazement, trying not to laugh, "that is the craziest theory I've ever heard,"

 I couldn't stifle my giggle and put my hand over my mouth, "but, I wouldn't be surprise if it was true,"

 I continued through my laughing. His grin widened, "you should smile more often. Your smile is beautiful,"

 he said rubbing my hand softly with his thumb. This only made me blush more, "Thanks."

He scotched closer to me "When do you get to go home?"

I asked expectedly. Lestat didn't answer me at first. Instead he just turned his head and looked out at the rain streaming down the window. "I don't know. I may never get to go home,"

 he said slowly, but steadily. I tilted my head and started at him quizzically, waiting for an answer, but he didn't say anything else. It sort of freaked me out to hear that. I was about to ask him what he meant when the nurse came back in. Without another word Lestat let go of my hand, got down off my bed and walked towards the door and turned around at the last second.

 "Good night, good night! parting is such sweet sorrow,"

 he said, grinning at me one last time and then he ran out the door. I laughed, but felt a little disappointed. I wanted to keep talking to him, but more importantly I wanted an answer to my question. The nurse appeared at my side,

 "well, well, its nice to finally see you smile Phoenix. And I've got good news. I just got off the phone with Dr. Tredwell and he said you could go home today."

 A Lestat-style grin broke out onto my face. Just as Kara walked back into the room.

"Whoa! Someone looks happy!"

Kara exclaimed stopping at my bed side. "Kara, I can go home today!"

 I said with a huge amount of exasperation. "Oh! I'm so happy for you girl. Lets start getting you ready,"

 she said smiling and dancing around my bed. While Kara packed up all my belongings, the nurse took all my IV needles out and took the "ET Phone Home" thingy off. I realized I was actually going to miss that thing. They both helped me sit up and put on the back brace that I was going to have to wear whenever I was sitting up for the next few months. They started to wheel me out of the hospital, but suddenly I realized I had to at least say goodbye to Lestat. And to thank him for helping me realize my idiocy. We looked around for him, but we couldn't find him though. Finally a nurse told me he was receiving his treatment and I should just come back later.

Well a week turned into a month and a month turned into a few months and before I knew it, it 6 months had passed. I was out of my brace and back at school full time when I finally got around to going back to the hospital. Feeling very guilty, I took the elevator to the 3rd floor and walked to ward 3F, nibbling my lip and twirling my hair. I stopped at the nurses station and said cautiously,

"excuse me, do you know if Lestat is still here?"

The nurse looked up at me. It was the same nurse that had been there the day I left. She smiled and replied, "why if it isn't Phoenix! How have you been dear?"

 I smiled warmly at her, "much better thank you, I don't have to wear the brace anymore."

 "I can see that,"

 she paused for a moment, then continued "I've got some bad news though. Lestat isn't with us anymore.

" I sighed, "Darn, I guess he went home? Is there anyway I could get his phone number.his..

 "No, you misunderstand me. He isn't here anymore," she said interrupting me, "he passed away."

My face crumbled. I felt like someone had punched me in the stomach. I was never going to get to thank the boy that had made me smile when no one else could. I was never going to get to thank him for helping me see that just because things seem bad, doesn't mean they wouldn't get better.

 "When.and.and how did he die?"

 I asked trying not to cry. "Well you'll be happy to know that he died peacefully in his sleep about a month after you left,"

she replied sympathetically, patting my hand. Shakily I managed to stutter out, "Thanks,"

 as I turned to leave. "Oh, wait, I almost forgot. He wrote a letter for you,"

 she said drawing me back, "he told me to give it to you if you ever came back."

She handed me the note, which I opened. It read: Dear Phoenix, Remember to smile don't forget that your family and friends love you. You're a very special and lucky girl. We probably won't meet again but I'm glad we met and that we got to know each other. I will never forget you. Love Lestat. P.S. Yesterday my dinner put on an "The Twelfth Knight" and today my breakfast did "The Phantom of the Opera". Sadly no one believes me. However, I figured you would believe me and like to know that nothing has changed since you left.

 Brushing away a tear I smiled and laugh softly. I silently thanked Lestat for reminding me yet again about what was important, making me laugh and helping me feel renewed. I rode the elevator back down and walked out of the hospital with a huge Lestat grin on my face, feeling a lot better about.everything.

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