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Good Deeds Never Go Unpunished

" Good deeds never go unpunished," a statement I can honestly say that I never really understood, or for that matter, had ever really experienced nor wanted to. Times were changing though and I really began to understand the meaning of this 5-word oxymoron.

 Knowing my best friend for 11 years, I understood her personally and understood what she was about. Though, for the last seven years, we didn't go to the same school and rarely saw each other. However, there were frequent phone calls and we always told each other everything. We had promised each other that if anything ever happened and we couldn't handle it we'd go to each other for help. Nonetheless, going to school with her again this year changed things.

 I began to see her everyday and view her mannerisms. They were, I must say, much the same as they were when we were in 6th grade. Although she is extremely intelligent, looking at her and the way she acted you wouldn't be able to tell. Her parents had always treated her as an adult and with them infrequently being home she was a 15 year old trying to raise herself. She was getting into things such as drinking, smoking and behaviors along that line. I didn't really think much of it at first. I just thought hey, it's her life she's messing up. So I let it go not realizing that until later it was an indirect reach for help.

Later on though I found out that it was going to the extreme and this time I was scared. I was scared not only for her but for our friendship and myself. I had tried to talk to her about it but she just denied it. Little did she know though that I knew what she was really doing. In all the years I had known her she never had lied to my face and this was just another reason that I began to get worried.

 A little over a month ago, I finally went to my parents knowing that I could no longer talk to her about and get a straight answer. I was in hysterics; I was sitting and telling my parents secrets that I knew my best friend didn't want shared and secrets that could potentially ruin a perfect friendship. In the end, they decided, and I agreed that it would be best if I confronted her parents and told them what I knew.

They were like my second family and I was sure that they would understand and give me a chance. My dad called her mom and told her that I needed to talk to her about Maggie's (name has been changed) and asked her that she not bring this up to Maggie until I had talked to her (Maggie's mom) about it.

 I was terrified. I had a vision in my head about how this would all turn out. It worried me to know that after all this was said and done, I might not have a best friend anymore. I would no longer have someone to share all the childhood memories with. I had known her for half of my life and to have her be gone forever.

Well, needless to say the next day Maggie came up to me the next day at school and told me she needed to know everything that I was going to tell her parents. Well, I tried to play and dumb and asked her what she was talking about. It didn't work though. She continued to bother me until I told her the bare minimum.

" Look I love you to death, but I can't tell you what I will tell your parents, it's neither my place to discuss it with you nor my place to deal with you."

Walking out of the class one day she was screaming at me,

"Your trying to ruin my life.I hate you and I never want to talk to you again."

I stopped. I was about ready to cry. Eleven years we had been friends and had never ever once been in a fight, they called us "two peas in a pod". The first fight ever, and she tells me she never wants to speak to me again.

 When I was finally supposed to talk to her mom, that day she gave me a note and said that her mom wasn't going to talk to me, and she had told her mom everything that I was going to tell her. I was upset; she had no idea what I was going to tell her mom because I had never told her.

 I went home ready to tell my parents and my dad gave me an e-mail from Maggie's mom. Her mom said that she was not at liberty to confront us without the presence of her daughter.

I was extremely upset. How could her mom not want to hear about something that could put Maggie in danger? All the years I had known Maggie's mom and she had always told me that if there was anything that I felt she needed to know I should tell her. This time I did and was rejected. I felt sick; I had no desire to eat, or talk to anyone.

I cried myself to sleep and cried the next morning knowing that I would have to face my best friend and come to terms knowing that I had helped no one. I have ruined a friendship, my friendship, with someone I had learned from and confided in. I promised myself that that was the last time that I ever tried to help someone or worry about his or her well-being. The first time I tried, and it all blows up in my face. For once in my life I felt that I was doing good, a good deed, only to face the heartbreak of pain and loss.

 I went to our school counselor. I was lost on ideas of what to do; I felt that I could do more and that I should do more, however he told me that you can't help everyone. Some things have to be dealt with by that person alone. I have finally brought myself to the understanding that I have done all that I am physically capable of; and also brought myself to understand and believe that while my best friend hates me now and feels betrayed, that I will be there for her when she needs me.

 While it hurts now to talk about it or even try and remember it, I know that there will come a time in my life when I will look back at this and be able to understand that I did the right thing. While the outcome wasn't what I had expected it to be, I know that it is something that I can now be happy about, knowing that I tried and did what I felt was right.

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